The Party

Now I’ve come out of that terrible terrible mood I was in a couple days ago, I have no idea how I ever get that way. I feel so sober atm. I am, however, bored out of my mind without the emotions.

Let me tell you about the  party – it was amazing. Everyone was so happy, and I didn’t sleep with anyone, so massive improvement on, well, most partys! I did have a little private cry, which the world seemed to walk in on. And I told one of my friends (incredibly drunkenly) about why I was upset. Saying that I was scared I’d do what AA did. I told her about the fact that I had self harmed for so many years, and that I hid it from everyone. Oh dear. So shameful. She didn’t seem to understand at all. Hopefully it didn’t really register with her and she’ll think I was just drunkenly rambling about scratches when I was 15 or something.

I’m looking at what to do next year – might to a masters.. exciting! I can only do one if I find the funding for it though, not made of money!

God I’m bored. My brain seems to have just stopped. I feel really distanced. I have to pack for tomorrow and I just can’t keep my mind on it for long enough to do it. It’s very wierd. I don’t really have anything to blog about.

this made me cry!

~ by chinaface on August 24, 2009.